During the next few months, I would take the initiative to sit in front of him daily. We would chat and he would tutor me on my weak subjects. We could talk for hours with our homework untouched in front of us. We had another change in the class seating arrangement in the middle of the year and I managed to bully the class monitor into letting me sit with him.
We sat together for five months plus. It was easier to communicate as we sat together all day. He gave me a bookmark which I love a lot. I asked him to write his name behind it because I know one day, we would be together. However one day, he told me to leave him alone. It was because my ex-boyfriend got angry about our friendship and organised a hate campaign against him. He kept me in the dark about all these. I ignored his request and we got closer instead. I felt betrayed and cried in front of him when I finally found out the reason why he wanted to break up our friendship. I steered away from him even though I felt my feelings for him grow stronger.
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Soon, it was year end and high school was over. We needed to go our own ways. I remembered him taking my picture at the canteen. I wished I could sit down and tell him about my feelings. However, he went off and I could only shout at him from the front gate while he was in the car. I shouted that I wanted to marry him but I wasn’t sure if he heard me.
In the years that passed by, we send short messages to each other once in a blue moon. However lately, I feel that the feelings are back. Last week, I flew to his state just to meet him and I was honoured when he came to pick me up at the airport.
I was blushing as I sat with him in his car. I was hoping I could at least hold his hands, the hands I knew for so long, the hands that I once taped on when he was about to give up, the hands that taped my shoulder when I failed my exams and the hands that never fail to shake my hands after each holidays. I also wanted to lean on his comfortable shoulder and tell him about how I kept my feelings for him to myself for four years. However, I didn’t. When we were in the cinema, I wished that he held my hands as it was cold. I wish he is mine. Our date ended at the beach where he was very quiet and shy.
I will always remember how he used to gaze into my
eyes and tell me, "Everything will be alright,
When he was sending me back to the airport, he said,
"How I wish you can stay a little bit longer."
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He left me at the airport after sending me to the last entrance. I shook his hands and thanked me for driving me around. At that moment, I wanted to hug him but I couldn't. I smiled and tears rolled down my cheeks when I turned away. I never looked back. I decided to wait and not hope for anything in return. I understand that a long distance friendship is hard and what we have should remain as a love between best friends.
Let me be the Reason for the Teardrops on your Guitar Part 1 | 2
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