Funny Stories For
Adults
MateMatch
On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a
game called "MateMatch". Here are the rules.
The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are
married or seriously involved with someone. If the
contestant answers "yes", he or she is then
asked three random yet highly personal questions.
Their partner is then called and asked the same three
questions. If he/she gives the same answers to all
three questions, they both win the prizes. Simple.
This is what happened on one of these games.
DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of
MateMatch?"
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Contestant laughing: "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando,
Florida if you win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: "Yes."
DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"
Brian laughing nervously: "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only
please."
Brian: "Sarah."
DJ: "Is Sarah at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian laughing: "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Ok, first question - when was the last time you had
sex?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"
Brian: "About eight o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Ah huh boy, Brian."
Brian laughing sheepishly: "Well..."
DJ: "Question two - how long did it last?"
Brian: "About ten minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever
have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Ok. Final question. Where did you have sex at eight
o'clock this morning?"
Brian laughing hard: "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying
with us for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the mother-in-law was in the shower at the
time."
DJ: "Ah huh boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous
hundred times I've done it. Ok folks, I will put Brian on hold,
get this wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."
Three minutes of commercials follow.
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DJ: "Ok audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"
Sounds of touch tones and ringing follows
Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live
on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian
for a couple of hours now."
Sarah laughing: "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with
us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll
lose. So... do you know the rules of MateMatch?"
Sarah: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian laughing
Sarah laughing: "Brian, what the hell are you
up to?"
Brian laughing: "Just answer his questions honestly,
Ok? Be completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you
three questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's
answers, then the both of you will be off to Orlando,
Florida for five days on us. Disney World. Sea World.
Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it
Sarah?"
Sarah laughing: "Yes."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God, Brian.... Uh, this morning before
Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Around eight this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it
last?"
Sarah: "Twelve, fifteen minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmm… That's close enough. I am sure
she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one
last question, Sarah. You are one question away from
a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"
Sarah laughing: "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "Oh My God, Brian!! You didn't tell them
that, did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing
with us and..."
DJ: Come on Sarah... Where did you have it?
Sarah: "In the ass..."
After a long pause
DJ: "Folks, we need to take a station break!"
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