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Memories and Chances Part 3
Chances Part 1
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“I assume you didn't attend the ceremony.”
I hadn't seen her that day and Ryuu seemed sad about it. He was
expecting to see her.
“You're right.” She said.
“I didn't go.”
“Ryuu was expecting to see you.”
Hanezawa nodded as if she already knew that. She then asked me
if I wanted to know the reason behind her absence.
“You would tell me otherwise even if I said no, right?”
She laughed at my comment.
“I was being selfish. I thought only Ryuu and I shared a
special connection. I mean, we practically spent half our lives
together. We knew each other's secrets and dreams. When we entered
high school, I was a little sad that he found a whole new world
for himself. He met new friends and had quite a number of girlfriends.
I thought he would never have time for me but he would always
find time to drop by my house once a week. He would always tell
me the good things that happened to him, how he enjoyed playing
softball with you and other friends and how annoying were the
tons of love letters he received everyday.”
I smiled at her.
“Maybe that's the reason why you didn't give him one.”
Hanezawa gazed at me in surprise. Seconds later, her expression
changed into that of a shy little girl. Her face was red.
“Motoharu, would it be weird if I tell you that I love him?”
“It will be a lot weirder if you didn't.”
(Read Related : Romance
In the end, my friend whom I was waiting for wasn't
able to come. He told me that something cropped up.
I didn't mind and told him that it was okay.
I thought Hanezawa would leave after I told her about
my change of plans. However, she came back after walking
off initially and asked me if I wanted to go out and
have a drink somewhere else. She said she wanted to
talk more. I agreed since I had time and we went to
a newly built bar named Vanilla Lemon in the backstreets
of Shinjuku. The place was small but good. They had
someone playing a familiar mellow piano piece. There
were a few people drinking.
We ordered vodka. During the first few drinks, neither
of us talked. We drank and savoured the liquor as
it made invisible lines in our throats. Several times,
drunken old men would try to hit on Hanezawa but I
made them leave on seeing her discomfort. If they
wouldn't, I would generously walk them outside and
call a taxi for them so they could go home.
It was already nine o'clock or twenty one hundred
hours when I checked the time and I was walking my
seventh man of the night outside. I realized that
we have been drinking for four hours straight. I called
a taxi and entrusted the drunken guy to the driver.
When I got back into the bar, Hanezawa was sitting
with her arms wrapped around her knees, swaying with
the music. Oh no, she's drunk.
(Read Related : Love
I asked if she's feeling okay.
“You know what?” She answered.
“It's entirely your fault that I'm feeling miserable again.”
I took the seat beside her and refilled my glass.
Now, she's blaming me.
“Hell yeah! If I hadn't seen your face, I wouldn't have
remembered things. I would have been in my friend's apartment
and we would be watching this drama called… Oh no I forgot
the name. Anyway, I would have been with her right now! But no!
You showed your face in that coffee shop and I saw you there!
It would have been better if I didn't turn around at that moment
but I did. I even approached you! Now, memories are coming back
to me, flowing like hell and I don't even like it!”
“But at least you're not like a wandering soul now.”
That calmed Hanezawa down. She sighed and drank another glass.
“Tell me. You're regretting that you didn't let Ryuu know
what you felt for him, right?”
I heard her sigh again. It was a long, deep sigh.
“I had the chances, Motoharu. Ryuu gave me lots of them.
However, I just didn't have the courage to tell him and I hated
myself for that.”
I saw her bury her head on her knees and I felt kind of sad for
her. She must have really wanted to convey her feelings but one
thing prevented her. Fear. It was the fear of being rejected and
the fear of losing everything if things didn't go the way she
“If we had been much closer before, would you ever fall
in love with me?'
I was taken aback by her question. I didn't expect it coming.
Nevertheless, I thought I ought to answer her. She might go berserk
if I didn't. After all, she’s drunk. However, that wasn’t
the only reason. I felt that I really need to answer the question.
Cold sweat ran down my cheeks. I told her what was on my mind
at that time.
Memories and Chances Part
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