Marriage Quotes

Marriage Quotes Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Eighty percent of married men
cheat in America.
The rest cheat in Europe.

Marriage is a romance in which
the hero dies in the first chapter.

If you want your spouse to listen
and pay strict attention
to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.

Marriage is like a cage;
one sees the birds
outside desperate to get in,
and those inside desperate to get out.

The secret to having
a good marriage is to understand
that marriage must be total,
it must be permanent
and it must be equal.

Love is the thing that enables
a woman to sing
while she mops up the floor
after her husband has walked
across it in his barn boots.

A man reserves his true
and deepest love not for
the species of woman in
whose company he finds
himself electrified and enkindled,
but for that one in whose company
he may feel tenderly drowsy.

The most happy marriage
I can imagine to myself would be
the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

If variety is the spice of life,
marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys
her son-in-law's peace of mind
by giving him a piece of hers.

Only two things are necessary
to keep one's wife happy.
One is to let her think
she is having her own way,
the the other, to let her have it.

Marriage is not a simple love affair,
it's an ordeal,
and the ordeal is the sacrifice of ego
to a relationship in
which two have become one.

Marriage Quotes Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5