Cute Love Story
Installing Love
Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?
Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I
think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?
Customer Service Rep: The first step is to open your HEART.
Have you located your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running
right now.Is it okay to install while they are running?
Customer Service Rep: What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE,
GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
Customer Service Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically
erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It
may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer
disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE
with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However,
you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.
Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed.
Can you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell
me how?
Customer Service Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu
and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary
until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely
erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself
automatically. Is that normal?
Customer Service Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message
that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART.
Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
Customer Service Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only
the base program. You need to begin connecting to other
HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What
should I do?
Customer Service Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON
INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?
Customer Service Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common
problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run
on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART.
It is one of those complicated programming things, but in
non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE"
your own machine before It can "LOVE"others.
Customer: So what should I do?
Customer Service Rep: Can you find the directory called
"SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
Customer Service Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at
this.
Customer: Thank you.
Customer Service Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following
files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory:
FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, EALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC.
The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin
patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete
SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your
recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone
and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really
neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now
and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM
are copying themselves all over my HEART!
Customer Service Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running.
You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing
before I go...
Customer: Yes?
Customer Service Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give
it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will
in turn share it with other people and they will return
some really neat modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.
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