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Last Resort Part 2

Last Resort Part 1 | 2

 

When I got home, I quickly head for my bed to cry.
I asked myself, “What have I done?”
It was then my cell phone rang. It was her. I felt very guilty because of what I did to her. I answered my phone and she was crying. I felt pain as I heard her crying while talking in a soft voice. It was me who caused her so much pain. She asked me why I changed. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to make thing right again. I wanted things to go back to just like before… But I couldn’t.

I have caused her so much pain and yet she still tries her best to prevent us from fighting anymore.

(Read Related : Breaking Up Quotes)

If only I could tell her about the truth…

There were only a few days left before the vacation arrives. Hence, I decided to strike the final blow. It was a fine morning and everything was fine as there were no arguments. She asked me to buy a burger for her and I agreed. When I came back, I had no burger with me. All I had was a plan. I didn’t want to do it but I have to. She’ll hate me if I succeed. Therefore when I got back, I pretended I was irritated because I claimed she was always asking me to do stuff for her. However, the truth is I would most willingly be her slave as I belonged to her. In my mind, I thought that when everything ends, she’ll be happier… I argued with her in public and made myself look like a bad person. I thought she might mind as she’s well known and people might notice us arguing. However, I think no one saw us arguing.

That was when I pinched her. She showed that look again. It was a look that expresses deep pain physically and emotionally. She was holding back her tears. I felt her pain as she looked at me. At that point in time, I know it’s over. I felt so much remorse, so much guilt, so much pain, so I fled home and cried even though we had an examination on that day. From that day onwards, I started to hate myself for doing such things to my only love. I realized she loved me so much.

Two months later, she’s what she is right now. She’s happier as she doesn’t love me anymore. She’s happier as she’s free. Most importantly, she’s happier without me…

My plan was a success… But there’s so much more behind it.

(Read Related : Lost Love Poems)

During September 2008, I had a terrible headache but I ignored it. We were happily together at that time. My headaches continue to occur and my body weakened considerably.

I had a check up,
I was shocked,
I couldn’t imagine the effect of the result on her.
I didn’t want her to suffer so much pain.
I was diagnosed with a stage four cancer.

“One year”, said the doctor.
All the time up until now, I just wanted to kiss her and hug her and tell her that I love her so much. I always thought that we were destined to be with each other. I never wanted to let her go. I didn’t want to lose her. She was the only person who gave me so much love and understanding. I experienced so much joy when I’m with her and so much tears when I thought that she’ll leave me...

She was
My true love…
My first love...
And the last one…

- Daniel Salido - signing off…

This story were the author’s last words in the hospital and published on this website upon the request of his brother.

Last resort Part 1 | 2

 

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