The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting
trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand
corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I
have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who
I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have
a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have
outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like
her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence
and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because
I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match
for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the
good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips
will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be
mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything
just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for
3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make
her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding
director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into
us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!"
before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like
a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes
her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody
go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She
didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get
something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when
both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character
she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But
I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her
eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings
and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still
laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened.
I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my
heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out.
After going out for a day, I told her that I have something
to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something
to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told
me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He
has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute
guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit
for her has been the talk of the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile &
congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so
strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted
stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but
can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How
many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't
acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10
days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since
then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit.
Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Leaf
===
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because
I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying
on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years
of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind
but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I
learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy.
The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon.
It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme
limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke
up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth,
he got together with another gal.
I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue
me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first
move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt.
Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that
this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does
he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally
do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching.
I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards
me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to
ask him right?
Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for
him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day,
he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone
call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that
no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because
of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest
to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes,
I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the
dilemma accompany me for 3 years.
Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to
go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright
rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing
to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a
warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from
the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give
this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind
will bring this badly battered leave far away & better
land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile &
didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind
pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay
Wind
====
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent
on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow
her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer
to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors
& me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always
be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking
at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her
eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes.
Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look
at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I
can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness.
The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom,
hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in
her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual
place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her.
Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She
looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day,
she appeared & pass me a note and left.
Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away
It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf
never want to leave tree
I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started
to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls.
I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this
perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within
4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20
times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic.
But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine,
I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't
remember how many times I have declared my love to her.
Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear
a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my
girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone.
I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want
to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head".
"Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding
my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly
changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press
her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door.
I hugged her tightly. Leaf departure is because of Wind
pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.
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