Funny Love Quotes

Funny Love Quotes Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Dating is so insecure.
My last relationship,
I was always there for her and she dumped me.
I told her about it. I said,
Remember when your grandma died?
I was there.
Remember when you flunked out of school?
I was there.
Remember when you lost your job?
I was there!
She said, I know - you're bad luck.

I once dated a girl on the track team.
It didn't work out.
She kept giving me the runaround.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

You know that look women
get when they want sex?
Me neither.

Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand.

There are a number of mechanical devices
which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL.

Leaving sex to the feminists is
like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation.
The other eight are unimportant.

Women might be able to fake orgasms.
But men can fake whole relationships.

My girlfriend always laughs during sex
- no matter what she's reading.

Clinton lied.
A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex,
no matter how bad it is.
- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humour)!

Ah, yes, Divorce,
from the Latin word meaning to rip
out a man's genitals through his wallet.

A girl can wait for the right man to come along
but in the meantime that still doesn't mean
she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.

Funny Love Quotes Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5